Rev. Young Jin Cho (Korean United Methodist Church of Greater Washington)
I remember a piece of poem.
God has no other hands than our hands.
He has no other feet than our feet.
He has no other mouth than our mouth.
There are two interpretations of this poem. The first is a critical view that it limits God too much. How could God have only hands, feet, and mouth as the human beings have? This view asserts that God, irrespective of human beings, can work and say without any limits. It is true. God''s Holy Spirit is not limited by human beings. God is superior and greater than any human beings.
But there are those who focus on another interpretation of the poem. They emphasize that God works through us. While we live on this earth, we have the mission of being God''s hands, feet and mouth. We must submit to Him our own hands, feet and mouth in order to be used by Him. This interpretation is also true. We must become God''s instrument in his plan to save the world.
The God of Bible is the God who is calling us. God chose his people and called on them. His spirit came among them and used them as the instrument of realizing his will. Therefore, becoming God''s children is both a privilege and a mission. That fact that we became His children is due to the grace of His calling us first. Without His calling, we would be also wandering on the road of darkness and sin. We would be living an aimless life without knowing what is really important in life. Then God came to the human beings who were wandering in sin after having gotten lost in darkness. The grace in which God came and called on us was present decisively in Jesus. Jesus'' teaching, death and resurrection opened new ways for us. He led us to a new way of life. Now we are able to live a new life different from yesterday.
I.
Now, among the people God called, He called especially those workers who would cry out God''s will and awaken people to stand upright in front of God. The Old Testament called these called workers as prophets. We can say that pastors in today''s church are the modern day prophets.
We find certain common characteristics among the prophets appearing in the Old Testament. The first characteristic was the calling from God. Because they were called by God, they could become the prophets who would shout God''s words. Among the prophets, there were many who hesitated and wavered in front of God''s calling. Also, there were many who doubted and felt like giving up, when faced with difficulties, scorn, alienation and persecution while walking the prophet''s road. But because of God''s calling, they obeyed and walked the prophet''s road. The calling from God was the motive and source of power to carry out the mission.
The second characteristic of the prophets was their style of expression. What do you find when you read the words of the prophets? Their messages or recorded words never communicated their own thoughts or will. They always started with "Jehovah said," and communicated God''s messages to us. The words entrusted by God were expressed as prophets'' declarations. "Jehovah said" was the typical initial expression of the prophet''s messages and words.
God''s Holy Spirit still works today as in the Old Testament. The pastors were not just dropped from heaven. Among the God''s called people, He is calling for the workers who will spread his words, conduct the worship services and lead the church. Therefore, the most important requisite of becoming a pastor is this calling from God. The questions such as; "Was there really this calling from God?" or "Have you experienced this calling from God?" are the most important starting point for preparing pastor''s path. In the minister''s ordination process, this question becomes very critical.
II.
Today''s scripture Isaiah chapter 6 is one of the most representative words of prophets'' calling from God. Isaiah, who had been active as prophet for 40 years after having been called by God in 742 B.C., left an indelible legacy in the Jewish history.
(1) I want to say first about today''s testament. Crisis is an opportunity to feel His presence and his calling. Today''s scripture starts with "in the year King Uzziah died." Uzziah was the king who ruled the southern kingdom in 783-742 B.C. While he ruled, his kingdom became peaceful and powerful. Then, this powerful king died. The future of the country seemed uncertain and insecure. In this difficult time, God called Isaiah. The crisis then became a chance through which God worked. Are you today going thorough a crisis? Do you now live a life with an uncertain and uneasy future? That is when God becomes present. God is near us in crisis than any other time. The Chinese characters that represents crisis have special meaning for us. The first character means "danger" and the second "opportunity." Therefore, the crisis can be dangerous, but at the same time an opportunity. The crisis presents a chance to meet God. It is a chance to experience God''s calling and his Holy Spirit.
When the Jewish people were facing crisis, God was present at the temple. He came to meet Isaiah. He called on him and raised him.
(2) Secondly, it was Isaiah''s confession to God, when faced with God''s glory. "Woe to me! I cried. I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the king, the lord almighty."
The meeting with God makes us to see our true selves - our deficient, insufficient and sinful selves in front of Him.
We may feel quite adequate on the surface. We may feel that we are adequate and none wanting. But when standing in front Him, it is a different story. We realize that our deficiency has no limit and our life is of unclean lips. Without His grace of forgiveness our life cannot stand on its own. He comes to us and let us sees our true selves. He let us see how we are at the present.
But the Lord does not just drive us to guilt and shame. He corrects and is wrapping us. When Isaiah confessed being a sinner, one of the seraphs took a live coal with tongs from the altar and touched his lip. And He said, "your guilt is taken away and your sin is atone for." God is an expert in correcting us. There are no perfect human beings whom He can use without His help. Although deficient, insufficient and sinful, He calls, corrects, refines and uses us. Not only he calls and meets us but also he corrects and uses us as His instrument. Here is God''s love. Here is His endless mercy.
(3) Third, God called Isaiah whom He corrected for a new task. New Isaiah heard the voice of the Lord, "whom should I send? And who will go for us?" Isaiah then replied, "Here am I. Send me." God commissioned Isaiah to this mission. He told him to cry out and awaken people who refused to hear God''s voice.
We can of course understand these words as calling on pastors and commissioning them with the task. But we can interpret this in a wider meaning. We can interpret that God now calls all the Christians and give them the mission. We can accept as God calling us as today''s Guard and witness to Gospel, and giving us the mission. Pastors or laymen, we are all his called people. We all are the people of mission. We respond to God''s calling to send his workers to the world. The only difference between Pastors and laymen is specific tasks.
A famous Old Testament scholar analyzes this text and summarized as 3C''s. Crisis, Confrontation, Confession and Commission are very appropriate summary. God''s Holy Spirit is still working today. He still meets his people in crisis, let them see themselves, corrects them and commissions them with the mission.
III.
Next week is the scholarship week. It is the week when we encourage those who were called and preparing ministry among the 1.5 and 2nd generation at our church and when we give offering to help them financially. Among our sons and daughters whom we helped, Young Park and Peter Ahn received minister''s ordination and are devoting to the English ministry for the second generation. And Missionaries Yu, Heja and Choi, Donjin are preparing for the ordination in VA conference.
I am truly thankful that our church became the training ground providing future leaders. As I said before, Pastor Kim, Sang Keun, Missionaries Kim, Yumin and Chang, Kiok will receive the full membership as pastor, and Missionary Whang, OiKyung plans to have an interview in March for an associate membership. Missionary Lee, Kangwook, who is doing the Korean language ministry for the youth, has started the ordination process.
Commemorating the hundredth anniversary of the Korean immigrants, I am convinced of one thing. The most important task for us, the first generation Koreans, is training the future workers. We cannot give up nor postpone the task to train the spiritual leaders for next generations, and further the American churches.
We are especially grateful that the United Methodist Church, which first opened door to the Korean immigrant, are now opening doors for the Korean pastors. There are now more than 200 Korean pastors serving American churches. In VA conference, 6 pastors are regenerating American churches. Rev. Hyo Choong Lee, who used to serve our church together is now commissioned to an American church and is doing well in his ministry and making us feel proud of him. God is also today seeking the leaders who will lead the next generation. Let''s listen to a person who responded God''s question, "whom should I send? And who will go for us?" Missionary Dong Jin Choi is currently studying at Wesley Seminary, is now serving in our church scholarship mission team, in the children''s church and the campus mission.
My life up to now bears God''s endless grace and love. He has never neglected a single moment watching over me since I was born. I was born to a pastor''s family. When I think back, this very fact meant I received undeserving special privilege from God. But, although I was born as the pastor''s son, until 3 years ago I was not thankful of the fact and tried to escape from this background.
During last 10 years I ran furthest away from God. I wanted to go the places where God could not interfere. It was a distant road and also not a smooth road. I lost a lot in the process. And at one moment I thought I was really furthest away from God. The reason was one fact. It was the fear of death. Being furthest away from God is not something I could do on my free will but is equated with the end of life. The fearful death led me to seek God. At that time I felt like dying but it was something other than physical death. It was depressing to think that I had to retrace back to the distant road through which I have come. It was a foolish thought. God was near me while I was running away. Even when I felt sure that I was furthest away from God, He was next to me. God responded immediately to my cry for God''s help.
Following is my story. I have been in the states for 12 years after leaving my parents like a prodigal son. It was not due to my dislike of my father but the God of my father. God was once good to me by providing me with provisions, helping me when needed, and lightening my burden. So when I was a child, I liked God and leaned on Him. Whenever I needed something, I prayed. God always responded. This deep connection to God was broken by his refusal to my two requests, and I started to run away from him. Since young, I had a dream of becoming a pilot, but I had to give up the dream after developing poor eyesight while in high school. Afterwards, I developed a passion for music and wanted to compose music. In spite of the opposition from family and friends, I started to study music but failed in the College entrance examination. Every time I reproached God and blamed him for my failures.
As my life did not turn out as I wished, I started to reproach God and concluded that he was the source of my failure and frustration. It was because I felt certain that I deserved to receive His grace and blessings. I don''t know how this arrogant faith of mine has led me to this far.
My dream was broken and I could not find reasons for living. I thought then I would do whatever comes along and live for no special purposes. Without any real serous plan I came to the States and started an aimless life. I stumbled into the study of hotel management not out of any special interest, and worked as an intern at a hotel as a part of graduation requirements.
It was the intern work at the hotel around the time of my graduation from Arizona State College that clearly pointed me to the direction for the rest of my life. Toward the end of my internship, I watched the Mexicans who were working with me and started to think why they had to work so hard like slaves. I felt sorry for the Mexican woman who washed and cleaned the dirty and messy things all day with minimum wages, and could be fired for a single piece of hair left uncleaned. I also saw the guests who could afford rooms costing $5,000 a night. And I also saw a lonely elderly person who lived his entire life at the hotel, not having to work owing to his inherited money and lived a lonely life waiting for his death. Until then my life dream was to buy a $150,000 house with a swimming pool, Toyota Camry, happy family and a dog. While I was struggling to achieve that dream, God showed me a life far grader than my dream and a life far worse than my dream.
Ladies and gentlemen, the life I decided to choose was closer to the latter. Following is its reason.
During my 6-month stay, I have not seen happy faces other than two people. These two people may not look happy from the world''s perspective. They were an old couple who, to celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary, registered to the cheapest room for two nights and three days. The room had a window overlooking a mountain cliff within two meters and was so dark that they had to turn the light on during daytime. I thought to myself; rather than staying in this poor room, they should have stayed with a little more expensive room with a better view. But whenever I passed them, I found them happy and enjoying their time together. They looked happy and their smile made me feeling ashamed. Also, another happy people I found there were the Mexican workers who were working like slaves. The Mexican women always greeted me with smile and comforted me who was full of stress and carried a scowling face. It was strange because although I did not carry a whip, I had the whip-like power over them and could threaten the livelihood of their entire family. My entire value system to judge others was fairness, diligence and sincerity. But I realized I lived without knowing a most important thing in life.
They knew what was the most important thing in their life. It was their family. It was more precious than money. The money they were making was sufficient enough to keep their families happy. When the hotel became busy and we looked for workers who were willing to work overtime at twice of their salary, they all went home at the regular quitting time. The managers ended up cleaning the rooms at weekends. But the rich guests seemed to be greedy and arrogant with faces full of unhappiness. Although this was daily occurrence, I was fascinated with that fact that they seemed to be so irritated while staying at such a nice place. Even their children seemed to be irritable all the time.
After examining carefully those who have more money than I can earn in my entire life, I lost the appetite to make money that they possess. I lost my value system where wealth and honor absolutely rules the world. Since then I came to believe that to use my life for those who cannot pay rather then for those who have a lot of money and those who can pay is far more worth while. Then what kind of work will bring such a life worthwhile? I did not dwell on the subject too long. I decided to take the pastor''s path that my father walked. I was certain that the road that my grandfather and my father had walked would bring the life that I would not regret at the end. But, I remember my father''s words that without the conviction of the "calling from God", one should not think about becoming a pastor. I did not have the benefit of hearing God''s voice that one might hear in the prayer sanctuary. When I look at myself, I didn''t seem to have an iota of qualification. My friends told me disdainfully: "you really don''t have any thing else to do. But, please do not take this path." When I thought about it myself, I thought it was beyond my capabilities. I called my father, who earlier did not want me to be a pastor and opposed to such thought in the past, told me the following: "how tragic your life would have been, had you not pursued this path?" He gave me his assent and helped me to gain courage. My father had one caveat: "in ministry, unlike other professions, there is no turning back. Once started, you must be at it until death."
I prayed to God. Rather, I threatened God with the following condition: "God, this is my last choice in life. I am taking the pastor''s path. As you know, I am taking this path because I have nowhere else to go. God, you know what a worthless fool I am! But, I am taking this path. God, help me to be successful in this endeavor. Else, I will never call you again. Amen." God probably listened to this prayer because of its egregiousness. Since I came to Washington, D.C., God listened to all of my requests immediately. I have received far more blessings than all previous 30 years of experience. My shortcomings made me fail and fall, but God helped me to change my shortcomings into seeing glory of God through thankfulness.
By accident, I heard about the availability of scholarship at Wesleyan seminary and I drove three thousand miles to Washington, D. C. I found the scholarship was not sufficient enough to pursue the study and thought this was not God''s will. I contemplated dropping out of the study and started to pray desperately. I started to fast. It was because there were no other places to return. As if God knew I could not fast long, he immediately replied to my prayer. After the second day of my prayer, Rev. Cho called me. I could pay two years tuition from the scholarship fund you have provided. I am more thankful for the last two years and half more than the previous thirty years of my life. It is because I experienced that God has been present in my life. Whether I fall, forward, backward and sideways, it would always be a blessing. Do you also live this kind of life? I mean the life where unhappiness becomes happiness, despair to hope and failure to thankfulness. I am thankful for the trial I had. The trial was the only way for me to come closer to God. I came not to be afraid of trials through the experience of much failures and frustrations. God is my master and I hope He will use me for his purposes in any capacities. I obeyed to God''s will for the first time in my life. This single obeying completely changed my thoughts on my entire life. It is the fact that dissatisfaction leads to satisfaction, and satisfaction leads to thankfulness. Thankfulness is joy and trust in God.
There is one more fact that I am thankful and proud. I am a member of the congregation of the Korean United Methodist Church. I am proud of this fact. What other pride can I have than this fact! The reason I am proud is because of you. I am learning more important things from you than from the seminary classrooms. I am learning your humility. I am learning your thankfulness. I am learning your love. I am learning your God. Thank you! I am truly thankful! There is only one way I can respond to you. That is to witness the living God and his love toward the next generation. God called me alongside with you to witness Him. With the conviction of "calling from God" I am going forward in front of God. Please pray for me in this path.
I remember a piece of poem.
God has no other hands than our hands.
He has no other feet than our feet.
He has no other mouth than our mouth.
There are two interpretations of this poem. The first is a critical view that it limits God too much. How could God have only hands, feet, and mouth as the human beings have? This view asserts that God, irrespective of human beings, can work and say without any limits. It is true. God''s Holy Spirit is not limited by human beings. God is superior and greater than any human beings.
But there are those who focus on another interpretation of the poem. They emphasize that God works through us. While we live on this earth, we have the mission of being God''s hands, feet and mouth. We must submit to Him our own hands, feet and mouth in order to be used by Him. This interpretation is also true. We must become God''s instrument in his plan to save the world.
The God of Bible is the God who is calling us. God chose his people and called on them. His spirit came among them and used them as the instrument of realizing his will. Therefore, becoming God''s children is both a privilege and a mission. That fact that we became His children is due to the grace of His calling us first. Without His calling, we would be also wandering on the road of darkness and sin. We would be living an aimless life without knowing what is really important in life. Then God came to the human beings who were wandering in sin after having gotten lost in darkness. The grace in which God came and called on us was present decisively in Jesus. Jesus'' teaching, death and resurrection opened new ways for us. He led us to a new way of life. Now we are able to live a new life different from yesterday.
I.
Now, among the people God called, He called especially those workers who would cry out God''s will and awaken people to stand upright in front of God. The Old Testament called these called workers as prophets. We can say that pastors in today''s church are the modern day prophets.
We find certain common characteristics among the prophets appearing in the Old Testament. The first characteristic was the calling from God. Because they were called by God, they could become the prophets who would shout God''s words. Among the prophets, there were many who hesitated and wavered in front of God''s calling. Also, there were many who doubted and felt like giving up, when faced with difficulties, scorn, alienation and persecution while walking the prophet''s road. But because of God''s calling, they obeyed and walked the prophet''s road. The calling from God was the motive and source of power to carry out the mission.
The second characteristic of the prophets was their style of expression. What do you find when you read the words of the prophets? Their messages or recorded words never communicated their own thoughts or will. They always started with "Jehovah said," and communicated God''s messages to us. The words entrusted by God were expressed as prophets'' declarations. "Jehovah said" was the typical initial expression of the prophet''s messages and words.
God''s Holy Spirit still works today as in the Old Testament. The pastors were not just dropped from heaven. Among the God''s called people, He is calling for the workers who will spread his words, conduct the worship services and lead the church. Therefore, the most important requisite of becoming a pastor is this calling from God. The questions such as; "Was there really this calling from God?" or "Have you experienced this calling from God?" are the most important starting point for preparing pastor''s path. In the minister''s ordination process, this question becomes very critical.
II.
Today''s scripture Isaiah chapter 6 is one of the most representative words of prophets'' calling from God. Isaiah, who had been active as prophet for 40 years after having been called by God in 742 B.C., left an indelible legacy in the Jewish history.
(1) I want to say first about today''s testament. Crisis is an opportunity to feel His presence and his calling. Today''s scripture starts with "in the year King Uzziah died." Uzziah was the king who ruled the southern kingdom in 783-742 B.C. While he ruled, his kingdom became peaceful and powerful. Then, this powerful king died. The future of the country seemed uncertain and insecure. In this difficult time, God called Isaiah. The crisis then became a chance through which God worked. Are you today going thorough a crisis? Do you now live a life with an uncertain and uneasy future? That is when God becomes present. God is near us in crisis than any other time. The Chinese characters that represents crisis have special meaning for us. The first character means "danger" and the second "opportunity." Therefore, the crisis can be dangerous, but at the same time an opportunity. The crisis presents a chance to meet God. It is a chance to experience God''s calling and his Holy Spirit.
When the Jewish people were facing crisis, God was present at the temple. He came to meet Isaiah. He called on him and raised him.
(2) Secondly, it was Isaiah''s confession to God, when faced with God''s glory. "Woe to me! I cried. I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the king, the lord almighty."
The meeting with God makes us to see our true selves - our deficient, insufficient and sinful selves in front of Him.
We may feel quite adequate on the surface. We may feel that we are adequate and none wanting. But when standing in front Him, it is a different story. We realize that our deficiency has no limit and our life is of unclean lips. Without His grace of forgiveness our life cannot stand on its own. He comes to us and let us sees our true selves. He let us see how we are at the present.
But the Lord does not just drive us to guilt and shame. He corrects and is wrapping us. When Isaiah confessed being a sinner, one of the seraphs took a live coal with tongs from the altar and touched his lip. And He said, "your guilt is taken away and your sin is atone for." God is an expert in correcting us. There are no perfect human beings whom He can use without His help. Although deficient, insufficient and sinful, He calls, corrects, refines and uses us. Not only he calls and meets us but also he corrects and uses us as His instrument. Here is God''s love. Here is His endless mercy.
(3) Third, God called Isaiah whom He corrected for a new task. New Isaiah heard the voice of the Lord, "whom should I send? And who will go for us?" Isaiah then replied, "Here am I. Send me." God commissioned Isaiah to this mission. He told him to cry out and awaken people who refused to hear God''s voice.
We can of course understand these words as calling on pastors and commissioning them with the task. But we can interpret this in a wider meaning. We can interpret that God now calls all the Christians and give them the mission. We can accept as God calling us as today''s Guard and witness to Gospel, and giving us the mission. Pastors or laymen, we are all his called people. We all are the people of mission. We respond to God''s calling to send his workers to the world. The only difference between Pastors and laymen is specific tasks.
A famous Old Testament scholar analyzes this text and summarized as 3C''s. Crisis, Confrontation, Confession and Commission are very appropriate summary. God''s Holy Spirit is still working today. He still meets his people in crisis, let them see themselves, corrects them and commissions them with the mission.
III.
Next week is the scholarship week. It is the week when we encourage those who were called and preparing ministry among the 1.5 and 2nd generation at our church and when we give offering to help them financially. Among our sons and daughters whom we helped, Young Park and Peter Ahn received minister''s ordination and are devoting to the English ministry for the second generation. And Missionaries Yu, Heja and Choi, Donjin are preparing for the ordination in VA conference.
I am truly thankful that our church became the training ground providing future leaders. As I said before, Pastor Kim, Sang Keun, Missionaries Kim, Yumin and Chang, Kiok will receive the full membership as pastor, and Missionary Whang, OiKyung plans to have an interview in March for an associate membership. Missionary Lee, Kangwook, who is doing the Korean language ministry for the youth, has started the ordination process.
Commemorating the hundredth anniversary of the Korean immigrants, I am convinced of one thing. The most important task for us, the first generation Koreans, is training the future workers. We cannot give up nor postpone the task to train the spiritual leaders for next generations, and further the American churches.
We are especially grateful that the United Methodist Church, which first opened door to the Korean immigrant, are now opening doors for the Korean pastors. There are now more than 200 Korean pastors serving American churches. In VA conference, 6 pastors are regenerating American churches. Rev. Hyo Choong Lee, who used to serve our church together is now commissioned to an American church and is doing well in his ministry and making us feel proud of him. God is also today seeking the leaders who will lead the next generation. Let''s listen to a person who responded God''s question, "whom should I send? And who will go for us?" Missionary Dong Jin Choi is currently studying at Wesley Seminary, is now serving in our church scholarship mission team, in the children''s church and the campus mission.
My life up to now bears God''s endless grace and love. He has never neglected a single moment watching over me since I was born. I was born to a pastor''s family. When I think back, this very fact meant I received undeserving special privilege from God. But, although I was born as the pastor''s son, until 3 years ago I was not thankful of the fact and tried to escape from this background.
During last 10 years I ran furthest away from God. I wanted to go the places where God could not interfere. It was a distant road and also not a smooth road. I lost a lot in the process. And at one moment I thought I was really furthest away from God. The reason was one fact. It was the fear of death. Being furthest away from God is not something I could do on my free will but is equated with the end of life. The fearful death led me to seek God. At that time I felt like dying but it was something other than physical death. It was depressing to think that I had to retrace back to the distant road through which I have come. It was a foolish thought. God was near me while I was running away. Even when I felt sure that I was furthest away from God, He was next to me. God responded immediately to my cry for God''s help.
Following is my story. I have been in the states for 12 years after leaving my parents like a prodigal son. It was not due to my dislike of my father but the God of my father. God was once good to me by providing me with provisions, helping me when needed, and lightening my burden. So when I was a child, I liked God and leaned on Him. Whenever I needed something, I prayed. God always responded. This deep connection to God was broken by his refusal to my two requests, and I started to run away from him. Since young, I had a dream of becoming a pilot, but I had to give up the dream after developing poor eyesight while in high school. Afterwards, I developed a passion for music and wanted to compose music. In spite of the opposition from family and friends, I started to study music but failed in the College entrance examination. Every time I reproached God and blamed him for my failures.
As my life did not turn out as I wished, I started to reproach God and concluded that he was the source of my failure and frustration. It was because I felt certain that I deserved to receive His grace and blessings. I don''t know how this arrogant faith of mine has led me to this far.
My dream was broken and I could not find reasons for living. I thought then I would do whatever comes along and live for no special purposes. Without any real serous plan I came to the States and started an aimless life. I stumbled into the study of hotel management not out of any special interest, and worked as an intern at a hotel as a part of graduation requirements.
It was the intern work at the hotel around the time of my graduation from Arizona State College that clearly pointed me to the direction for the rest of my life. Toward the end of my internship, I watched the Mexicans who were working with me and started to think why they had to work so hard like slaves. I felt sorry for the Mexican woman who washed and cleaned the dirty and messy things all day with minimum wages, and could be fired for a single piece of hair left uncleaned. I also saw the guests who could afford rooms costing $5,000 a night. And I also saw a lonely elderly person who lived his entire life at the hotel, not having to work owing to his inherited money and lived a lonely life waiting for his death. Until then my life dream was to buy a $150,000 house with a swimming pool, Toyota Camry, happy family and a dog. While I was struggling to achieve that dream, God showed me a life far grader than my dream and a life far worse than my dream.
Ladies and gentlemen, the life I decided to choose was closer to the latter. Following is its reason.
During my 6-month stay, I have not seen happy faces other than two people. These two people may not look happy from the world''s perspective. They were an old couple who, to celebrate their fiftieth wedding anniversary, registered to the cheapest room for two nights and three days. The room had a window overlooking a mountain cliff within two meters and was so dark that they had to turn the light on during daytime. I thought to myself; rather than staying in this poor room, they should have stayed with a little more expensive room with a better view. But whenever I passed them, I found them happy and enjoying their time together. They looked happy and their smile made me feeling ashamed. Also, another happy people I found there were the Mexican workers who were working like slaves. The Mexican women always greeted me with smile and comforted me who was full of stress and carried a scowling face. It was strange because although I did not carry a whip, I had the whip-like power over them and could threaten the livelihood of their entire family. My entire value system to judge others was fairness, diligence and sincerity. But I realized I lived without knowing a most important thing in life.
They knew what was the most important thing in their life. It was their family. It was more precious than money. The money they were making was sufficient enough to keep their families happy. When the hotel became busy and we looked for workers who were willing to work overtime at twice of their salary, they all went home at the regular quitting time. The managers ended up cleaning the rooms at weekends. But the rich guests seemed to be greedy and arrogant with faces full of unhappiness. Although this was daily occurrence, I was fascinated with that fact that they seemed to be so irritated while staying at such a nice place. Even their children seemed to be irritable all the time.
After examining carefully those who have more money than I can earn in my entire life, I lost the appetite to make money that they possess. I lost my value system where wealth and honor absolutely rules the world. Since then I came to believe that to use my life for those who cannot pay rather then for those who have a lot of money and those who can pay is far more worth while. Then what kind of work will bring such a life worthwhile? I did not dwell on the subject too long. I decided to take the pastor''s path that my father walked. I was certain that the road that my grandfather and my father had walked would bring the life that I would not regret at the end. But, I remember my father''s words that without the conviction of the "calling from God", one should not think about becoming a pastor. I did not have the benefit of hearing God''s voice that one might hear in the prayer sanctuary. When I look at myself, I didn''t seem to have an iota of qualification. My friends told me disdainfully: "you really don''t have any thing else to do. But, please do not take this path." When I thought about it myself, I thought it was beyond my capabilities. I called my father, who earlier did not want me to be a pastor and opposed to such thought in the past, told me the following: "how tragic your life would have been, had you not pursued this path?" He gave me his assent and helped me to gain courage. My father had one caveat: "in ministry, unlike other professions, there is no turning back. Once started, you must be at it until death."
I prayed to God. Rather, I threatened God with the following condition: "God, this is my last choice in life. I am taking the pastor''s path. As you know, I am taking this path because I have nowhere else to go. God, you know what a worthless fool I am! But, I am taking this path. God, help me to be successful in this endeavor. Else, I will never call you again. Amen." God probably listened to this prayer because of its egregiousness. Since I came to Washington, D.C., God listened to all of my requests immediately. I have received far more blessings than all previous 30 years of experience. My shortcomings made me fail and fall, but God helped me to change my shortcomings into seeing glory of God through thankfulness.
By accident, I heard about the availability of scholarship at Wesleyan seminary and I drove three thousand miles to Washington, D. C. I found the scholarship was not sufficient enough to pursue the study and thought this was not God''s will. I contemplated dropping out of the study and started to pray desperately. I started to fast. It was because there were no other places to return. As if God knew I could not fast long, he immediately replied to my prayer. After the second day of my prayer, Rev. Cho called me. I could pay two years tuition from the scholarship fund you have provided. I am more thankful for the last two years and half more than the previous thirty years of my life. It is because I experienced that God has been present in my life. Whether I fall, forward, backward and sideways, it would always be a blessing. Do you also live this kind of life? I mean the life where unhappiness becomes happiness, despair to hope and failure to thankfulness. I am thankful for the trial I had. The trial was the only way for me to come closer to God. I came not to be afraid of trials through the experience of much failures and frustrations. God is my master and I hope He will use me for his purposes in any capacities. I obeyed to God''s will for the first time in my life. This single obeying completely changed my thoughts on my entire life. It is the fact that dissatisfaction leads to satisfaction, and satisfaction leads to thankfulness. Thankfulness is joy and trust in God.
There is one more fact that I am thankful and proud. I am a member of the congregation of the Korean United Methodist Church. I am proud of this fact. What other pride can I have than this fact! The reason I am proud is because of you. I am learning more important things from you than from the seminary classrooms. I am learning your humility. I am learning your thankfulness. I am learning your love. I am learning your God. Thank you! I am truly thankful! There is only one way I can respond to you. That is to witness the living God and his love toward the next generation. God called me alongside with you to witness Him. With the conviction of "calling from God" I am going forward in front of God. Please pray for me in this path.
