Brett Blair and Staff  

I don't know how many of you recently saw an advertisement in a particular magazine for Father's Day. It was an acrostic on the word Father. It reads,

“F” is for your favorite occupation. (A man is pictured asleep in a chair)
“A” is for the anniversaries your blew (mother is shown waiting in vain for father to come home for their anniversary dinner)
“T” is for talk and your sparkling conversation (dad is depicted as reading a newspaper while the children and wife are talking to him)
“H” is for the helpful things that you do (dad is shown poking a ladder through a window)
"E" is for each time you were forgetful (this shows father leaving the pregnant mother standing at the front of the house while he dashes off to the hospital)
“R” is for the recitals that you attended (father is shown as being literally drug to his child's piano recital)

The ad concludes by saying: He may not be a perfect father but he does deserve a perfect gift. Give him an arrow shirt for Father’s Day.

As a father, how would like to be remembered? A man once said that as a child he was terribly afraid of his father. “He was a pretty awesome figure,” he said. “When he spoke that was the end of things. I always imagined if I could hear the voice of God that it would sound like the voice of my father.

Even though this man did not mean to compliment his father, I guess he should have been congratulated for connecting his father in any way with God, even if it was a negative connection. In the book of Proverbs we read these words: Children, hear the instruction of your father. He is the wisdom of God speaking to you.

That is quite an order isn't it dad? A huge responsibility that has been placed upon you. You are to be the voice and wisdom of God in your family. I wonder how many fathers today are filling the bill. How are we father’s doing? We are failing. If you want proof of the failure of the American father I present to you several pieces of evidence.

1. Mother's Day is celebrated as a church festival. People who never dust a pew any other Sunday during the year will many times get out on Mother's Day. As one man put it, “Yeah, mother gets quite a bang out of it when we all go to church with her on that day."

2. You should see the long line of materials the Methodist Publishing house (or your own church’s publishing house) puts out for Mother's Day bulletins (3 types). In addition to prayers, bookmarks, special music, etc. Now, lets take a look at Father's Day. How many special bulletins does the publishing house put out for the fathers---none.

3. Father, if you got a card on your day, the likelihood of it having anything religious on it is very remote. Most likely it will have a picture of a pipe, or a golf club, or fishing pole, or someone bringing home the bacon. In fact, I defy anyone to say that Father’s Day, either as a secular holiday or as it is celebrated in the church, is as big a deal as Mother’s Day.

There are other evidences.

4. If you were to take a comparison of the Men's groups with the United Methodist Women’s in any church in America I will tell you what you will find. You will find that the women’s group is twice as large, twice as enthusiastic, twice as productive. In fact, if you have something in the church that has to get done—give it to the women.

Yes, we just don't associate religion and dad. As you have been looking at Father’s Day literature this week have you found any cards or articles with scriptural references in them? About the closest thing you’ll get to anything religious connected with Father’s is something like: “Honor thy father. Give him Old Spice." Why is this the case? Why don't we associate fathers with religion? Has such a credibility gap been created between reality and what the book of Proverbs admonished--that the father is the voice of God of in the family.

Well, we don't associate Father’s Day with the church because we don't associate father with the church. Let’s be brutally candid. The American father is the world's most competent breadwinner. He makes himself a constant candidate for a coronary by the sheer, desperate scramble to provide his family with greater material benefits. He gives his children everything they need--everything that is except what they need most-a father.

Some years ago a father and mother visited me, trying to find some way to keep their son from entering into a hasty and ill-advised marriage. The father said: I talk to my boy but he acts like I don’t even know him." Well, I suspect that they didn't know each other. This story is pitifully common. We have fathers trying to be pals to their sons and daughters, but somehow they can’t be fathers.

I am going to read a quote to you first and then tell you who said it: “A small child waits with impatience the arrival home of a parent. She wishes to relate some sandbox experience. She is excited to share the thrill that she has known that day. The time comes; the parent arrives. Beaten down by the stresses of the workplace the parent often replies: "Not know, honey, I'm busy, go watch television." The most often spoken words in the American household today are the words: go watch television. If not now, when? Later. But later never comes for many and the parent fails to communicate at the very earliest of ages. We give her designer clothes and computer toys, but we do not give her what she wants the most, which is our time. Now, she is fifteen and has a glassy look in her eyes. Honey, do we need to sit down and talk? Too late. Love has passed by.”

The person who wrote these words was Robert Keeshan, better known to America as Captain Kangaroo.

A recent news article told about the world's rejection of American friendship, even after all of the foreign aid that we have dished out. The headline read: The United States Finds Out That It Can't Buy love. I wonder when the fathers of America will make that same discovery.

The 78th Psalm has a kind of refreshing honesty. The sole purpose of the writer is to admonish future generations of Hebrews not to be like their fathers. They should not be like their fathers, because their fathers were a stubborn, rebellious generation, a generation whose heart was not steadfast, and whose spirit was not faithful to God. Like father, like son? I hope not, implies the psalmist.

Do you remember the name of the name of that little song about the relationship between his father and his son. When I tell you the words you will recall it. It’s about a father who did not have time for his son as he was growing up. Then one day, when the father had gotten up in years and needed help, he called his son up. The response he got was: "Dad, the job’s a hassle and the kids got the flu , but it’s sure nice talking to you dad, it’s sure nice talking to you. Then the haunting last words of the song: As I hung up the phone it occurred to me, My boy was just like me, he'd grown up just like me.

When are we going to learn that what we do as parents speaks louder than what we say. How many times have I seen a parent drive up to the church and let the child off, only for them to drive back home. The message is: you can go, but its certainly unimportant to me. That is the message that gets scripted on the child.

Allow me to get out a long held frustration just a moment. I get so weary hearing from different men that they had too much religion shoved down their throat when they were young, and they don't want to do that to their children. There isn't one man in a hundred who could document such a statement and even if they could it is nothing but a stupid excuse for denying something to their children that they had the good fortune to receive.

Fathers, it is time to face some hard truths. Our immersion in the gray flannel jungle, our supposed busyness with business, is nothing but a camouflage, an easy way out. It is easier to provide a house than it is to provide a home. It is easier to give dollars than it is to give time. It is easier to write a check than to share love. It is easier to give fun than it is to give wisdom. It is easier to be a provider than it is to be a good leader. It is easier to push our children through the door of the church rather than lead them into the church. It is easier to be the bread winner, than to teach our children about the bread of life.

The simple fact is that too many fathers have simply defaulted on their Christian fatherhood simply because they are lazy. The father is to be the religious head of the home. Far too often, however, in reality the father is nothing more than the religious appendage. He is the church tag along. He is not the religious head, heart, and soul of the family.

The opening song this morning was Faith of Our Fathers [or another appropriate Hymn]. I wonder if there is not some kind of irony in that. I wonder if we in the church are reaping, in lower attendance and fewer new members, the non-faith of our fathers. I have this theory about why women's lib came to the forefront three decades ago. The woman's movement, in part, was born out of necessity. Be honest men. We live in a matriarchal society in America. We hear a lot of talk today about single parent families. In most incidences that parent is not the father. Nature abhors a vacuum. Women have rushed in to fill the void. Oh, we still have lots of dads who are the family bully and dictator, but how many are the loving religious head of the family.

In the end there is only one way that we can gain status as father. That is by remembering that when Jesus prayed he used the words "Our Father." You are a true father in the spiritual sense only if you have the same relationship with your children as our heavenly father has shown toward us. May we as fathers recommit ourselves to that challenge on this special day. Amen.